I hate staying up late.

I hate staying up late. Sa lahat lahat kasi ng panahon na pwede maging active ang problem analysis part ng utak ko, pinipili niya talaga ang late nights.


I'm deliberating stuff. Stuff I would do, Stuff I wouldn't do.


Primarily... Going to some trip the school wants us to go to.


And you know what? It makes me angry.


They're coercing us to do some thing for the sake of our grade. Oh come on! You freakshows. This is the first time I'm doing something like this.


I don't join organizations because I do not want doing things I feel like I am obliged to do. I want to do things because I want to do them, not because I feel like I NEED TO DO THEM OR ELSE SOME STUPID F***ed up sh*t will come out of nowhere.


And here you are, giving me the trouble of this dilemma that I should go to some excursion with the uncertainty if that place is safe, has communication signals, has a gawddamn restroom...


Okay. Let's do this the economics way.


Pros: I will get to experience life out of my comfort zone. I will know more about the life of indigenous communities. I will get exercise because technically, we'll probably be walking lots of kilometers somewhere.


Cons: It's definitely going to be hard. What about my habit of going to the restroom during late hours? (The f**k do you want me to not drink water??! Screw you.) Where are we going to take a bath? How will I call my parents if something bad comes up? Is that place even safe from nighttime attackers? None of my friends are actually there. So hello. Buddy-Buddy system.




.... I am so effin confused that it makes me angry.

:D Yay me!

I easily screw things up most of the time... That's why... When I do screw up, it takes some time for me to get all panicky.


LOL. Take this for instance.


I screwed my PC up. Big time. Was trying to install a new OS... and boom! See, my PC has special needs and I did not pay so much attention to them... So when I installed the new OS... BAM. Big error flashes on my screen. :))


But. I did not get all panicky like: "oh gawd what did i do!!"


So my PC died for like... 3 days or so.


And now I have fixed it. So... Like London Tipton says: "Yay me!"

Dun wanna hear THAT joke again.

...I'm seriously f***ing pissed.


Directed to nobody, inflicted to self.


The blogpost title...


Yeah. I don't wanna hear that joke or whatever statement about parents picking or shitting money.


I'm realizing it's true, and I'm sort of an emotional chaos right now. I realized it on my own and that makes me even more angry that I have not seen this sh*t before.


**** my school. and those people in it.


I refuse to talk about it. Soo... Don't force me. I'm seriously f***ed up.


I'm getting angry at worthless people (including myself) that wastes their parents precious hardworked money.


So believe it or not... I'm changing stuff.


'Cause I don't wanna waste any more money.


This blogpost is sh*t. Just like I am right now.


Out. Night.

First Day of Classes for Year 2010 and Others.

:] LOL. I'm not even halfway the year and I already miss vacation. :) Not that I'll be getting any vacation this coming summer. See. I got OJT. And I'm not looking forward to it. So not. I don't even know what I'm going to expect, so I'm imagining the worst thing that could happen and scaring the bejeezus out of myself.


Better scared than presumptuous jumping into something that can be totally twisted any second.


***


:) I guess the classes were okay. Somewhat the break did me good. Got things and priorities sort of straightened.


But I did miss studying. The pressure and all that. :p Makes me thin. :))


The only thing I hate during school days is the lack of sleep. :)) Lack of sleep from doing school related work.


oh. and guess what.


i'll be like that starting the next and final year of my college. i'm going to work after. yeah. yeah. i'm really looking forward to that. don't you just feel the happiness? >.> I guess I'm just like this because I don't know what's going to happen. And not knowing something scares me.


You know. Just like in those movies.


Something makes the grass move. It's dark and you can't see a thing. The sound apparently comes nearer every second you breathe.


So what do you do? If I were you I'd get the nearest possible thing you can grab and smash it to whatever is coming. Just for protection whatever it is that's coming out of that bustling grass. Just in case it's dangerous.


Work is like that. You don't really know what's going to bump you anytime soon. So yeah. Just come prepared with a rock that you'd be able to use to smash things.


You'd be fine. Just expect the unexpected.

Delayed Promise: Tips on Moving On.

Heartbreak is such a familiar thing. Some of us might have broken their hearts earlier than the usual-- defined as well, during the junior high to the senior high years.


It's something inevitable though. Whether we like it or not, we'll break our hearts sooner or later. But along that painful event, we learn lessons that would make us better persons to love and be loved in return.


I broke my heart during highschool. The guy and me were friends. But eventually it turned into something more. It's not really an official thing but sort of a mutual understanding between the two of us.


But now that I think of it... The whole thing is just too confusing. :))


But skip the happy lalala land part.


We separated sections after the first year of highschool and moved on with our lives. Well... at least HE did.


Poor me. Thought all along that it was that forever thing. It's really a fluke that infects you during your first puppy love.


But anyway. Took me really really long to forget. But I did. Eventually. This post is just a proof that I'm over that event and I'm just laughing it off as I type this.


So how did I?


a.) I thrashed the whole place - LOL. It's needed. Too many memories need to be destroyed. *evil laugh*


b.) Sort of regrets the present giving during occasions to him - WTF. I could have bought a lot of stuff for myself.


But seriously cry your eyes out first. It's the best and effective way for me. In the end you'd be tired of crying and you'll be angry that he/she made your eyes puffy. And then... when you're past that days and nights of nonstop crying...


a.) Read 'n Delete messages - Read and read and read those messages until you get sick of reading the same thing all over again. Immune thyself. Remember once that they made you swoon but that's it. End of story.


b.) Burn stuff and pictures - As painful as doing so you need to do it. Things that make you remember good memories and miss them should go.


c.) Hang out with your friends - This is really a good thing. Not only do they bring more bonding time but somehow these kinds of moments will make you remember that once upon a time he wasn't part of your world and yet you're happy as hell.


d.) Indulge in other activities such as playing sports - Hahaha. Go indulge. Hitting something would release tensions that stayed in the body. If you're totally bitter then that'd be good-- Tape his/her picture on whatever you're hitting. Totally feels awesome!


e.) Eat sweets - Yes I know they tend to make you gain weight but if you're following my advice on doing the sporty thing... then you'd be fine. Sweets like chocolates have dopamine and serotonin that alleviates pain and promote feelings of happiness. If you so not convinced... GOOGLE IT.


f.) Set up a "BASH" party - :) If anyone is not familiar with it... Then I'll explain. It's not possible that you've always liked the guy/girl. There would be his/her moments wherein he/she just sucks so bad. There'd be his/her weird quirks that is somewhat annoying. If you remember good side then it's time to remember the bad side.


g.) Talk with someone like ME!- Self-explanatory. :p Hahaha.




They're what I did during my heartbreak moments okay? Not guaranteed to be thoroughly effective 100% for all people but 98% effective. LOLOLOLOL.


You have a problem and should see your psychiatrist if the aforementioned methods failed. :p Why? Because you're probably obsessed with the person and I wouldn't be surprised to find a shrine of him/her at your home.


If you've succeeded in your rehabilitation from your obsession then repeat aforementioned steps all over again. :)

Happy New Year everyone!

:) 2010. I'm looking forward to you. Please make this a good year for me. Pretty please.


And of course. The non dying New Year's Resolution list.


Tadaaaa. I'm making the New Year's Resolution on the spot sooo... I might not get everything but I'll try my best.


List of New Year's Resolutions:

• To seriously get thin. (It's nearly 2012. Only 2 more years. I can't die a fatkid.)
  
  
• To focus on my studies.
  
  
• To not be lazy.
  
  
• Keep my room clean.
  
  
• To keep being awesome!
  
  
• Stop with the too much pessimism.
  
  
• Take pictures (as much as possible to freeze memories)
  
  
• To post more often in this blog of mine.
  
  
• To lessen childishness and selfishness.
  
  
• Bite enemies harder than they expect (Yes. It's a resolution for me. Bitches die hard so bite harder.)
  
  
• Read more books.
  
  
• To enrich the creative spirit I am.
  
  
• To feel freedom in my veins. (Awesome!!!)
  
  
• To save. (Again. Only 2 more years to 2012. I will hafta die rich.)
  
  
  
  LOL. There's seriously prolly too many of resolutions to write... But I'll concentrate first on those aforementioned above. That way I'd have more or less than a bajillion resolutions to go through.