And even till now, it's still broken.
I knew you had to be bad for me. And yet, I still jumped. I looked before I leapt and knew what was coming... But I braved it all and still jumped.
And you know what? I wish... I'd find that courage again.
But this time... I need it so I can finally walk away and never look back.
Why isn't this as easier as before?
When other people walk away, I don't worry. Somebody would take their place again soon.
Pero ikaw...? I'm trying so hard... and so bad for you not to walk away.
And even after all those efforts?
The ending never changes. It's always going to be bad. It's always going to be negative.
And I have to accept that.
That no matter how I twist here and there in "our" rubik's cube... We'll never fall right.
And the part that sucks the most?
Even after telling myself all those things...
My heart still keeps fighting. Even if I'm actually feeling it has exhausted itself.
I wish I knew how long I'd be like this.
Maybe... Just maybe, it could have affected my decision to jump.
I'd try my best to avoid crossing your way on Friday. I can't see you. I can't be near you. But nevertheless I still have to be prepared, isn't it? Even for the slimmest of chances.
If I don't prepare myself... I'm afraid I'd come running to hug you.
And I can't. I shouldn't. Everything will go to waste then.
If I do see you... There shouldn't be anything to it. It should be empty.
As if you've never been a part of my world. As if you're invisible. As if you never existed.
As if you don't hold the other half of my heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment